sex after cancer, male inferiority rant & birthday gifts

More standard retail stuff. There are busy nights and dead nights. We get rushes from hour to hour. Here’s a few memorable interactions.

I was giving one couple the tour of the toy room and when we got to prostate stimulators the guy asked “Well what if you don’t have one?” I probably looked extremely confused. They laughed and explained that he had prostate cancer and they removed his prostate. So what would happen if he tried one now? So that something I now have to research. They did buy some toys after asking a few questions. He wanted something to play with her while he licked her vagina (proper terms are so lame, I’d rather just say “ate her out”).  I sold the stainless steel g-spot stimulator. He got real excited when I showed him that; immediately taking the box and putting it under his arm saying “Yah, I’ll take that.”

One couple was looking around and after a while of talking about toys I mentioned using a wand to tease nipples. She laughed and he said “That doesn’t apply in this situation.” She explained that she had breast cancer and they took her nipples. So the nerves aren’t the same and it doesn’t do anything for her now. Instead they looked at some anal beads.

I had one guy, successful late 30s, come in and get lube. But he kept talking like he was nervous. They got some icy/hot lube that was not good after they got done with sex. He starts talking about she wants to get a toy and he never knows what to get. She needs to come in with him, but she’s never with him when he goes in… So we walk in to the toy room and he’s explaining how he feels “Males have one thing to give women, and when we provide that they always want something else. or they want to play with other areas (meaning putting a finger in his ass.)” Which means that he gets real nervous about that and some girl has gotten handy before and made him uncomfortable, orrrr that he has found some fun girls who may be more experienced and he’s just not ready to try new things. Then he says: “If she gets something and uses it without me then why does she need me? and if it’s bigger than me, then does she pretty much just replaced me…” So he’s feeling that he only has his dick to bring to the table, and he’s hoping that’s enough. Because no guy wants to be replaced by a sex toy.
-rant-
BUT THAT’S WHERE MOST GUYS ARE WRONG! All the women that come in and get toys either: don’t have a guy, he’s away for some time, their guy sucks at sex and just doesn’t fucking try OR they have a man that is willing to use some toys and props to get the most out of sex. Girls need emotional connection and physical contact! They are emotional beings (not trying to be a chauvinist right now), and a woman will never get the words, feelings or full contact from a silicon toy… So guys… you have nothing to fear. Say what she wants to hear. Look into her eyes. Kiss her. Touch her the way she likes. Hold her close. Kiss her more. Make her climax. Cuddle her. BOOM She’s fulfilled. Even if you use a toy to make her climax, she still cares about you. The toy is a tool, an ends to a means. Get over it guys. Because if you don’t embrace naughty stufff, then she can’t share that side of herself with you… and that’s what every man wants: his woman to be naughty with him.
-end of rant-
Anyhoo, so I showed the guy the body wants and explained that it helps with teasing, foreplay and you getting her worked up. But it stays on the outside so she still needs you. In fact you can use it in lots of creative ways to enhance your own fingers. So he got excited about that, said “Perfect, when I bring her in we’ll get one of those.” Then he bought his lube and left. It was an interesting encounter.

I’m getting good at birthday suggestions for guys: big pimp cup, nipple beer-can-sucker, fancy vulgar business cards, blow up doll, massage oil (for his girl to use)… and if you are on THAT level with a friend where you buy super weird shit and laugh about it… A cheap stroker and some masturbation lube. And I’m kind of proud of this last one I sold: a jawbreaker ball gag, so when they loose at beer pong you can tell them to “shut up and put your gag back in.”

We are still selling a decent amount of womanizers (the clitoris stimulator.)
I sold a few remote control toys. They are bluetooth and wifi connected so you can just use a phone app. This appeals to couples because if you skype or call then as long as you’re connected to wifi you can play with your wife.
I actually sold one of the vibrators with electrical current stimulation. That’s a first.

 

My first vendor presentation

So we had a meeting with a few of the vendors. Standard coffee and bagels, sit down and watch the presentation.

Latest dildos and strokers. This toy strokes, that one vibrates. They are using different materials. Waterproof, longer lasting… You get the point. Some I the strokers can be used flaccid and you can even climax without being hard. Kind of cool for guys with erectile dysfunction.

Another lube vendor is trying to get into health and wellness supplements. They still have a ridiculous array of lubes. Water, silicone, gel and every viscosity you can ever need. The daily supplements cover the full spectrum of body needs. Vaginal fresheners, breast enhancers, hair growers and removers, fat loss… You get the idea. More people buying stuff daily means more return customers.

Not bad. They even gave out some free stuff at the end.

theft, almost theft, womanizer, intense guy, butt stuff, big one!, accommodating him, bad lipstic, moving stuff around

in no random order I tried to write down what I can remember. It’s been a while since I posted. it’s been a lot of nothing with a few specific points of “ok?!”

theft.
I wasn’t present for this but the story goes: a lady came in drunk. she gathered a bunch of cloths up and went to the fitting rooms. A while later she called out and asked for a paper towel. When the associate handed the lady the towels she saw that the lady was bleeding all over and was trying to shoplift. So they immediately called the cops. The woman was drinking IN THE FITTING ROOM. She had a bottle in there with her. And cut herself with a knife trying to get the security tags off the clothing. So she had enough that they are pressing charges. They had to get rid of all the the mop head and broom because they had to clean up the lady’s blood from the dressing room…

almost theft.
A lady came in and just started looking at cloths acting busy. When I asked her if she was looking for anything in particular she said “No.Imgood.Thankyou.” way too fast. She then went down isles of the store picking up one of each item and bundling them under her arm. It was odd. So we half-hovered and walked around with her. She tried to go into a dressing room and my manager stayed around just checking on her. So after all this she goes to finally buy or go away and her card doesn’t work. she makes an excuse. something about getting cash. then asks if we want a soda? she’s going to the convenience store across the street… and never comes back.

womanizer
So a lot of women have been coming in and asking about the “womanizer” toy. It’s like a handheld mini-sub that vibrates air around an O shaped end. It’s supposed to be the most amazing thing for the clitoris. I’ve seen at least 5 sold. They are getting a LOT of attention and I haven’t heard ANY complaints.

intense guy.
We had a guy come in and within a few minutes of talking about sex stuff he goes into this big thing… and it seemed well rehearsed… about how he’s done massage therapy, tantricl yoga, bla bla bla sex arts studies about pressure points and focusing of the mind. THEN he went into another long tangent about being master of your own dick, how for centuries men put the pussy on a pedestal, once you can fuck a girl better than she’s ever had you control the pussy, you have to be able to not fuck a girl for as long as it takes to get what you want… This guy was intense.

butt stuff
So a LOT more people, especially women, are getting small to decent size but plugs and prostate massagers. A LOT of married couples too. Probably most of the butt things are married women and couples.

big one!
So one lady bought one of the BIG DILDOS. like BIG. like horrible gaping porn big wow that’s a big dildo. and she did it like… “I hope it does the job.” like what? ok. you know what. that’s why we have those in the first place. I hope she’ s satisfied.

she gets one to maintain so she can accommodate him
One nice gal came in with a friend and bought herself a decent size silicone dildo. No vibrations. her friend said “well if (he) sees it just tell him your trying to make it so he doesn’t have to go easy after it’s been a while.” From what I gather he’s big, they don’t do it that often and she might as well have one around his size…

curvey girl with bad lipstick.
OMG this couple came in. they were both “plus size”. her dress didn’t go past the bottom of her coat. she was smiley, wobbly drunk. and her lipstick was smeared all over her cheeks. They got an out fit, a vibe and some lube and went about their night.

moving stuff around.
We are always moving things around, consolidating clearance, getting new product, restructuring to flow with existing products. good old retail routine. But it’s been so dead lately that we have everything done and still have down time. I hope it shifts, when there are people in the store the night goes by faster.

 

 

Party boys and housewives

standard night.

A few couples looking. A few guys who wanted to buys stuff but weren’t sure about sizing. (shit… I need to convert those to gift card purchases. because then they are obligated and its fun for her to pick things out once they HAVE to spend the money anyway [girls being to shy]).

One guy wanted a small vibrator to play and maybe insert. We looked around for a while and his price range was pretty low so we got him a standard bullet. He looked around the BDSM wall and we talked about ties and ropes. He got a basic starter harness (2 wrist restraints connected to a middle strap.) Nothing too scary. Then he asked about a maid outfit for his girl, he liked the ones we had but didn’t want to get the wrong size. So he’ll be back in with her. Pretty chill conversation.

I feel like part of me being there is just to act normal about this stuff. If people can get ANY sort of feedback or reassurance then they actually pick things up and feel OK taking them home.

There were two guys who came in and looked at lube. One got a premium silicone lube. Then they wandered. I few times when the song changed they called out the DJ and laughed that we played current songs. One asked about “an egg” (basically a male harbormaster/stroker we carry that is shaped like an egg). I showed him where the jerk off toys were, the big mechanical one, the one that looks like brass knuckles, the different sleeves you can jerk off with. Then they looked for a while. Then they were looking at butt toys. So after a while they asked and I showed them the different plugs and that stuff. I then talked about the couple I helped at the other location and how they bought the butt bead/balls. Two attached balls with a flared edge/anchor so they stay in place. He got that. So in the end he bought the lube, a stroker and the butt beads… over $100 in just asking questions. and because I didn’t care who he was or what he asked, I just showed him what we had and what I heard.

There were a few couples of women (not lesbians) and singles that wondered around the toy room. You could tell that they were curious but not sure. Some would ask questions, others would wait until someone else asked a question first and then would chime in randomly. I don’t think any of them were unhappy. Just curious and open to look.

I think more men should make a point, to take their woman to the local sex shop and encourage them to get what they want. They might be pleased with the results. I mean come on if she hasn’t cheated yet then you don’t have to worry.

I just realized that the reason I probably get a good reaction from females in my store is that I try NOT to hit on them. It’s not my place. Once they realize I’m not there to get too personal it’s much more relaxed and to the point. What do you need, we have this, good, no big deal.

 

 

Always interesting

This is a few posts rolled into one. I worked a shift at another store so I got some new interactions.

More butt plugs.

More random lube questions… Best for toy? Water. Best for general sex? Silicone. Is she sensitive to everything? We have a hypoallergenic one for that. Butt stuff? There’s one with a natural relaxing agent…

One couple (probably early 20’s in college), came in and were very stand-offish. They stayed to themselves and wondered the walls. Eventually they were looking at some porn videos. I pointed out the one that made me laugh: “my first tranny” where the guy on the cover is balls deep in a chick with a dick and you can tell he’s thinking ‘I’m so not getting paid enough for this…’
After they laughed at that I started showing them other random stuff around the toy room, remote controlled toys, g-spot toys, clit toys… Then I showed them the pee-hole stuff and we all laughed and how uncomfortable the thought was. I had to take care of a few things so I wondered off.
I bit later the guy came and got me, I guess they were interested in something… It turns out she just found out she kind of likes butt-stuff. So they were looking for a toy. I got the girl I was working with and after asking questions we advised getting a toy that has 2 ben-wa balls inside to simulate movement. That way she can enjoy 1 ball or both of them. And always remember with butt toys you need a base or flared end so it doesn’t get lost. They left very happy.

Then there was the older couple that was just odd. At first I thought it was a pimp and hooker… but after interacting with them for a while I think they are just having a late life crisis. He had a fake alligator skin jacket and she… well was dressed like a hooker. No bra, and her fake boobs had those permanent THO nipples. He bought her a whole outfit that she wore out of the store.

One lady wondered around for a while until finally asked for help. We walked up to the BDSM wall and she said “I’ve never really done this before but I think it would be fun…” So we looked at some restraints. I told her if he didn’t have too much experience, we didn’t want to get rope. It can take skill and patience to get rope ties down. The last thing you want is to stop half way though because she can’t feel her hands. There were some with straps that go under your bed but she already had a functional iron headboard. So we got her 2 silk ties, some simple Velcro cuffs and a tickler/feather wand. She got a BJ spray for him and was good to go.

One chick came in to get arm sleeves. She had some serious cut scars alllllll up and down her arms. We didn’t have anything to help cover them for work but I knew to suggest sports authority. They have arm guards for sliding bases that work for tattoos.

We had a LOT of girls come in and get leggings and skirts for New Years. Some got pasties as well.

There were a surprising amount of white elephant/gag gift purchases.

And on a final note… There are soooo many types of women’s underwear. How the hell do you keep those things organized in a retail setting?!?!?!? full, thong, g-string, crotchless, assless, crotchless with fake pearl pussy teaser string… all sorts of hybrids… and in every color of the rainbow.

How to keep things fresh

I missed a few posts…

I wasn’t there but some people shoplifted. They took tags off cloths and put then on other cloths. Then they stashed hangers under seats in the dressing room. Sooo now I have to check on people in the dressing room more. I get it… Just more to juggle if there are a lot of people in the store.

We moved around some displays. The store is constantly shifting products and displays. It seems to be working. Customers now wonder about a little more and pick things up. If all goes well we should build traction as more people get used to stopping by the shop to check things out.

I talked to one guy (in his 20’s, pretty standard) who wanted to get something to spark up the sex life with his girlfriend. They’ve been dating for a few years. She’s on the submissive side, doesn’t really suggest anything and seems to scared to try anything that would push boundaries. I showed him the variety of products and he said he had to bring her in to see what would catch her eye.
After he left I thought of what I should have told him: “You’re girl doesn’t know what she likes because you haven’t taken the time to show her what she might like.”

Most people are shy, awkward and afraid of turning off their partner… It’s not a bad thing… but it can kill anything new and keep you pigeon-holed to your normal routine. Knowing what you like takes time, patience and encouragement. If your partner doesn’t like something and you’ve never tried it, you probably won’t ever get to know if you like it, so you just assume you wont. But at the same time if something is pushed on you faster than you are comfortable then you’ll resist it. It takes a steady, comforting hand to ease into new funnn.

Speaking of new fun… enough guys have bought penis/cock rings to make me wonder. So I bought a cheap end rubber cock-ring with a little bullet attached to the top. I was planning a LONG night with a lady-friend and figured it might come in handy. Well it did, a few hours into our playing and round 3 for me I wasn’t “up to par” and finally put on the ring. Not bad… She enjoyed the vibrations on her clit and there was just enough tension to keep blood where I wanted it. She got off a few times from the clit stimulation and I got my last one in. Not bad at all. I can see it working REALLY well for whisky-dick too.

There were a few couples where the lady was buying a butt plug. (plus lube)

A few white elephant gift exchanges and bachelorette parties.

A few guys getting cheap vibrators because their woman weren’t comfortable coming into the store.

A few foreign people just checking the shop out. I assume the Europeans have seen sex shops. Some of the Middle Eastern or Australian/New Zealand looks like they’ve never seen a store full of naughty stuff.

The lady with the 5 o’clock shadow has been in again. She really does pass for a woman well (settle down, not interested lol). But as usual she just looks around and doesn’t buy anything.

I’ve found the store is a good place for women to “fill in the gaps” for evening/going-out clothing. There have been several women who have pieces of their outfit but just need 1 or 2 more little things. We usually have a skirt, top, leggings or jacket to make it a perfect look. They always say “I didn’t know you guys had this much of a selection, I’ll be back!”

If you bring your kid in you are 1 of 2 people:
~ Nice, respectable, you keep an eye on your kid and you excuse yourself if they make any trouble or too much noise.
~ Horrible, you ignore your kid, yell at them, don’t know where they are and are usually just as horribly behaved as the child. and BTW if your kid is running around a sex shop and a cop walks in I GET ARRESTED AND CHARGED AS A SEX OFFENDER. So lets avoid that.

More retail, more… odd

We put up signs.
Kept changing things around to make sense as you wonder through the store. You can tell it’s working. Customers who get engaged and actually start picking up cloths are spending more time in-store. I don’t know if they are buying more (I haven’t been there long enough to quantify).
The clearance section is always being sorted and re-sorted. We dont have enough space so it’s stuffed to the gills. I try and make sure enough is loosely hung to look through, then fill in the gaps with the overstuffed sections.
As I put more on the floor I learn where it goes and what it does. Same with go-backs, you learn as you do stuff. Although some things can entirely move areas and you’ll have to re-map in your head.

We sell a decent amount of boner pills. some guys are shy and awkward and just throw cash at you and GTFO. Others don’t care, they chat with you and use the rewards account.
I had one guy who needed help because his wife was in “baby-making-mode” and he was having trouble keeping up with her demands. Very chill guy, first time in, but looked at it like “I’m not complaining, I just want to make sure I can keep this going.” So I sold him a few dick pills and explained what I had heard: Take only 1, you might get a headache. It could “be effective for a few days” depending. If you think it’s too much you can always break up the cap and save the rest for another time. A LOT of it is caffeine but they sell enough to suspect they might help. He said if they do help that he would be back and let me know what he thought.

There was one older couple who had never been into our store and wondered around. They looked at pretty much the whole store, she wasn’t afraid to pick anything up, he asked a decent amount of questions. We totally pulled off the “not-creepy awkward usual sex shop” look.

There’s the usual couple just staring blankly at the lube wall. Sometimes they don’t want help and other times they realize there are too many options and words that stand for things. So it boils down to:

are you using a toy when you play? Yes: no silicone lube (silicone toy + lube= not good), you’ll need water based. No toy: then silicone is good, it lasts a while and doesn’t break down into tacky or sticky goo.

Do you want any cooling, heating or delaying effects? There are lubes, drops and sprays for everywhere. Inside the pussy, outside the pussy, on the clit or in all sex areas. We have sprays for numbing dick, but you want to let it soak in and dry or it might spread to where you put your dick. We advise anyone doing anal NOT to use numbing because you NEED to know if something is NOT GOOD. and be able to feel and communicate that.

Are you sensitive to most things and want hypoallergenic? We have that too. When ever guys are NOT sure about anything; “Dude I never know with these things what she will or won’t like/be sensitive to…” I usually give them them the hypoallergenic lube, because she shouldn’t have any problems with it and if you want to get creative with another type you always know what works.

And we always try to mention with the few products we have that contain L-arginine that if you have been exposed to any form of herpes or cold soars that it WILL cause a flair up or outbreak. This is because of L-arginine causing the cell walls to become permeable. So not only are you MUCH more likely to get a reaction but your partner is also MUCH more likely to receive the virus. No body needs that, knowledge is power.

Massage oil goes on the outside. Some of the flavor lubes should stay outside of holes too. So many options for “intimate moments.”

 

and then there was the old dude who asked for a pocket rocket. Like a little rabbit toy. Just something simple the vibrated. “Have you ever used one? (him)” “Yah a few times on girls (me).” No response. So we found the original pocket rocket and he opened it up (woah there dude.) “How can I try it?” Ok, let me put one of our tester batteries in it. So I pop a battery in and twist the top and it wurrrrrrs to life. He touches it with his fingers and says “hmmmm, that might just work.” Then he puts the vibrating toy to the front of his jeans… just some (at least) 60 year old guy tapping the front of his dick through his jeans in front of me… like… what??? After a few seconds of this he says “Yes. Leave the batteries in it and I’ll take it now.” So I ring it up and… hey I’m not touching that now. So he leaves the receipt and the packaging on the counter and takes his change and the toy and leaves. OK…

 

 

 

Standard retail day

We changed around some of the displays. The Men’s section got moved to the front of the store, which is a great idea because not many know we even have a men’s section. I got to do most the display and mannequin stuff myself which was kinda cool. I remembered how much I dislike folding things. and when I say “folding” I mean super precise, they are ALL the same size and stacked perfectly.

We hung a big clearance banner.

There was a few boner pill sales.

One guys bought bondage stuff, ropes and nipple clamps.

One lady bought 3 dresses because she just figured out we had regular cloths. Yes we actually have some classy evening wear that isn’t overtly sexual.

And there were more guys who wandered in “just looking” and left shortly. Probably looking for porn (which we don’t carry).

Oh and there were a few buying gag gift/white elephant exchange stuff.

All and all pretty chill just a standard retail kind of day.

Mostly empty store but some chill customers

You can tell the couples that feel suuuuper awkward because they don’t make eye contact, they huddle together in the corners and when you ask if they need help they can’t get “no we’re good just looking” out of their mouth fast enough. But. When you say “cool, just checking, let me know” they actually smile and look relieved that no one might recognize them. 

There was your standard mid 40s guy with his mid 20s girlfriend who is an ex stripper an he’s spoiling her. 

There’s the metalish guy with a bald her who just keeps saying “this is my first time in this place.” As if everyone is judging. He buys what his girlfriend wants and gets out as fast as possible. 

Then there was 2 40ish ladies who laughed at everything that I showed them. We did a whole tour of the toy room. Very funny enjoyable women. One got edible massage oil. 

Pretty chill shift. I hung stuff up because I’m the tallest one there. When they had me sort an organize the panties I didn’t even know where to start. Retail is still retail. 

Day 6: Smelly Feet & Crossdressers

So today was fairly routine. actually the store was pretty dead all night. I got most the closing stuff done throughout the shift and we left 10 minutes after closing. Not too shabby.

 

Interesting notes:

more boner pill sales. The girls keep saying either a water penis pump (size), male keegle exercises (duration) or prostate massagers (getting it up) would all be a solution to getting a pill. I just worry about what happens if you don’t have a pill laying around…

A few couples looking at stuff. te-he-he they usually get 1-3 items: lube, condoms, massage/bath oil, boner pill, cheap vibrating finger toy or cock ring and maybe a cheap onesy dress/fishnet/spandex.

A lady in a long distance relationship getting a toy.

A girl that looked kinda hippy-ish. whatever. but after she left, the changing rooms just smelled of nasty ass feet odor. And it wouldn’t go away! I had to mop the floor just to remove the funk.

A guy. 40s-50s. Wearing a polo shirt with a football team on it. Some facial hair. All pretty standard (I can see him having a wife and 3 kids). Anywhooo, he picked up about a half a dozen ladies corsets, lacy push up bras and evening gowns. I figured he knew his wife’s size. Then he asked my coworker to open a dressing room. It took me about 3 seconds for this to set in. Wait, did that guy just go to the dressing rooms to try on all those lady’s cloths… … … …. … …….. Ok…?
10 minutes later he came over and thanked us but “none of them were right.” He then left and I wished him a happy holiday.
Here I am again getting shown how narrow my view is and how unique we all are. I bet you he never buys the cloths. I bet you once a year or month or whatever, he just wants to be pretty. So he comes into an open minded store and has his own fashion show. Then he puts on his day-to-day cloths and goes on with life. I know “normal” people with worse vices!

Who am I to judge?